Why is it that everything happens to break during quarantine?
We now have one working toilet so Confused Husband thought it would be a good idea to bring home Indian food. Hours later a situation occurs that is slowly turning into a scene from Les Mis in front of the bathroom door. I don’t have the bandwidth to participate in a Hunger Games event to win the “use of the bathroom”. Teenage son decides it would be grand to hold a debate where each of the “Need to use the loo candidates” could campaign as to why they should get first dibs on the toilet. While they were practicing their campaign speeches I took full advantage and utilized the empty loo.
I then dropped out of the running for office of occupancy of the bathroom and continued my night. Sometimes I question my choice of quarantine people, I mean I know they are my family but, is there like a quarantine rule that you have to quarantine with them?
The next morning, we have a massive leak that runs through our dining room chandelier like Niagra Falls. I have teenage son come view it, kind of like a “Stay-cation’ type event. I also worry about the thought of having to bring in a stranger during quarantine and find it extremely unnerving. Of course, being the Charlie Brown family, we get a senior version of the Lucky Charms leprechaun as our plumber. Red and grey hair askew, with the height of an elementary school student. Mask intact he hems and haws at our plumbing situation. He also informs us that his plumbing partner has Coronavirus. I feel so much better now! he is sweating like a nun in a cucumber patch, and all I can focus on are his Coronavirus infected sweat beads dripping on my floor.
The Lucky Charms plumber also has a spontaneous chuckle instead of a period at the end of each statement. I don’t see the humor in our leak. He is also small enough to fit into the access panel for the bathtub. For a moment, I picture him setting up his home in there. Between his purging about his ill workmate and plumbing lingo, all I can focus on is his what I now consider sinister chuckle.
Teenage son actually ventures out of his room cave to inform me that his bed is broken and the shaving bottle cap has accidentally been flushed down the toilet. WTF???
I wonder how many murders will have been committed during quarantine?
I hear that sinister chuckle, and fantasize that I could murder the leprechaun and stuff him in the access panel. I know he fits in there, so I wouldn’t have to chop him up.
Teenage son and Confused Husband are a whole different situation. How could I successfully dispose of them? These are my thoughts during quarantine and I am not afraid to share…